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When you encounter one of these profiles, you haven’t met your ideal partner.
You’ve just met someone who is good at telling you what you want to hear.
There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.
Online dating lures us with the false promise of an “ideal” partner so much that we apply filters that ensure we never get to meet that person in the first place.
Of course, online dating wouldn’t be so popular if it didn’t work for so many people.
According to some estimates, over a third of marriages in the US are now from couples who first met online.
Your reasons for finding someone are often broader and more diverse; you may not even be really sure if it’s romance you’re looking for at all.
Add those complications to the fact that online dating is, for many people, a thoroughly dispiriting experience, and it’s no wonder that older adults are more likely to rate it as a negative experience than any other demographic. If people are finding love through online dating sites, why does it fail so many others?
They found that just over 84,440 people in the UK fit the average person’s requirements, from an adult population of 47 million. In other words, applying the average person’s filters when it comes to finding a compatible partner gives you less than a 1 in 500 chance of being successful.
In the US, online dating is now the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet (behind introductions through friends). After millions of years of human evolution, and thousands of years of the development of human society, humans had settled on the idea that in-person interactions through fun, face-to-face social activities were the best way to meet new people.
And then along came online dating to blow that idea away.
To make matters worse, most people suck at selling themselves, and do a terrible job of their profiles.
And, of course, the ones who good at selling themselves generally do so by misrepresenting themselves to some extent.